The final draft for my last paper “ Stem or Steam: The Importance of Art” showed much improvement from my first draft. I added many things to this paper. I added more depth to Yo-Yo Ma’s essay adding quotes such as “We need to add the empathic reasoning of the arts into the mix.”. Quotes like this added to the depth of my paper. Not only did I add quotations from Ma’s essay but I also added a video that helps support my ideas of my paper. I added a youtube video on concussions which helped to show the consequences of concussions which was a big part of my essay. I also found good pictures that helped to depict what I was talking about at that time in my essay.  For example when I was talking about dual neural pathways I had a picture that has a man holding up two brains. And when I talked about concussions I had a picture of a football player with his brain showing through his helmet. I also added charts to show data on my subject. I also reworded thing that were worded weirdly and fixed my grammatical errors such as missing commas. The final draft of this essay showed much improvement from my first draft.